repeatedly thinking on those 24-26 degree days

for some reason today, can't stop thinking about those days in the not so distant past. hadn't thought about them too much. consciously blocked them out of subconscious survival, i'm sure. absurd that it even happened. absurder that it will continue to happen to our more vulnerable until we come together to protect each other.

warmer outside today

shoot, warmer inside for that matter. beats the heck out of the eight days of 24 to 26 degrees high in here in february, know that much.

what friends and family don't understand is how long it takes to recoup. just because it was like 36 in here two days and now it's 60 or more doesn't mean things turn around internally just as fast. enduring the kind of winter we just had takes its toll on the soul.

please keep that in mind if you're helping someone anywhere near the same. it may take months to gather oneself back up before forward steps can be taken. during that time, tactfully, lovingly, *slowly* do what you can to help them make sure the same doesn't occur next winter as well.

hints towards aiding another's survival:

• nice sheets can double as great curtains, and they serve as draft blockers against the winter breeze.
• got some old plywood laying around? they might could use it somehow to block drafts, too.
• got $10.00 burning a hole in your back pocket? smells like caulking and a caulking gun to me. where, for you, it's a drop in the bucket to be spent towards one hour and 45 minute movie, for your friend or family member in need, it very well and most likely represents closer to two weeks worth of eats. your spending it on weatherizing for your friend would be a blessing.
• tree fall down in your yard? don't take it to the dump or wood chipper it (unless you yourself really need it first). instead, find out from your local dhr who in your neighborhood nearby could turn that wood into lifesaving heat six, eight months from now after it is nice and dry.
• quick fix? a roll of commercial plastic. cost again represents one night at the movies for one, a lifesaver of a winter to another.

most importantly, just because someone is living differently from you doesn't make them any less of a person. they're just as proud, more likely than not just as aware of where they are at. please treat them accordingly should you approach with offers of a hand up.

gently, incrementally, respectfully, lovingly.....

no matter who they..... and you..... are.

ignorance is bliss

it never goes away.

the phone call earlier. to hear that a child was told it's their fault, too.

sad, sick world.

fear not, dear world

charlotte is alive and well and scurrying haphazardly not eight inches from whence this cometh. in true cinematastic fashion, sequels are destined for char's smaller but no less significant/o scurries in kind across the monitor, triple time to her two.

major deja-freaking-vu while typing that just now. it wasn't a bad one at all, but still. so vivid. phew, shudder.

no, you don't know me (i hear you wondering)

you may think you do, but chances are about 99.999999% to the naught that you do.

no one does, actually. sometimes not even me.

although.......

i did recently see the likewise reflection of me in another's eyes.......

3 o'clock in the morning listlessly wandering the fluorescented aisles of the neighborhood mass marketing conglomerate.

"befriends.com" law and order episode

an underlying point went along the lines of how their mythical (yeah, right, right?) website of "befriends.com" should be held legally responsible for the death of a mom whose daughter blogged on the site for the same.

personally i await the day the buy-it-on-a-whim-of-an-impulse-while-manic.com sites are held more accountable for taking full monetary advantage of people's illnesses in the way they do. they get rich while people's lives can be easily destroyed at the simple click of a key. it is certainly one of the true curses of the instrument in our lives that is the internet.

guess i would be remiss if i didn't offer a fix. how about.......

a couple of log-on screens that one must, absolutely MUST click through and acknowledge first before continuing on to purchase an item. the content of that or those screens being that yes, one is in full control of one's faculties and yes, one's financial situation is such that one will still be able to provide food on the table, lights and heat in the house, and gas in the car that will take one to work the morning after making the very next will-happen-in-the-flash-of-a-keystroke intended online purchase.

yeah, i know, laughable at best, but if it saved one poor soul heartache, their familial relationships, possibly even their very life, it would be worth its weight in the multiple fur lined gold lamee jumpsuits they absolutely could not breathe another breath without.

asperger's v. bipolar disorder

situational-induced mania v. inherited (genetic) mania?

just one aspect of either. when one is experiencing that symptom, when one is flying, bouncing off the walls, one can't help but dwell on why it is that the "professionals" can't segregate the symptoms better than they are.

what one receives as a dx, as a diagnosis can depend totally on what one's "doctor" believes actually exists.

guess that would be like anything else, but when you are living it in the moment, it sure would be nice to know definitively once and for all.